Episode 5
Adventures in Pantyland

Chillin' On the Roof

I don't know about you, but my life feels out of control on any given day. Between overdue oil changes, overdrawn checking accounts, and dirty, empty refrigerators, I'm overwhelmed by the slightest addition to the delicate balance of life. So when, luscious young goddess-esque ladies magically appear in my bathroom right after a roll in the leaves with a man literally out of my dreams, giving over to it seems the only way to go.

Ms. Waterfall toes, Goddess-au-Naturelle, has followed me out of the bathroom into the hall. Every step she takes, I hear a distinct tinkle from her feet. She sounds like the inside of a raindrop falling. And the sound, bizarre as it is, soothes me as I back out into the hall. Her supernatural manner has me flabbergasted, but her watery charm subsides my panic.

"Garlemon and I are old friends," she teases. Is she trying to make me jealous. There's no room in my jumbled mind for emotion. Her hand reaches out to my cheek, stroking away my tousled, leaf-laden hair. Her touch gives me goose bumps. Not the scary kind, the ticklish, arousing kind.

"Oh," I barely whisper. I struggle to find some inner Self. Some part of me that is strong, and clear-headed, like a rock in Her river. But the feeling of being swept along by circumstance has never been greater. My Self rising up my spine easily swoons with her powerful current.

"Come with me" she says, pulling her hand from my face and taking my hand, with a delicate squeeze. Before I think, we are flying. Really, flying through the air. My hall's low ceilings are stifling, but she winds us up and out the chimney so fast, I only reconstruct our path after we are outside. Here on the roof I can breathe freely. My towel has slipped away and I am naked, covered in soot, flitting above my house. The air is cold, and the sensation of no ground intensifies my chill.

My body is light, almost as if air is rushing through me. I am stimulated. The shock and confusion are dulled by the adventure. I gasp as I look down and see Garlemon, a small figure below. Puffing on a dream cigarette, he reminds me of a teenage boy sneaking a deep adolescent moment out back.

"Who in heaven are you?" I ask my goddess guide, turning myself around mid-air to face her perfectly unsooty, un-goose-bumped, smooth, fleshy Self.

"I'm Pasha. Your Dryad Nyad Princess. A water nymph with a flair for air. A friend."

"Okaaaay" I drawl, with a valley tone, embarrassingly childish and human. Clearly, she is no ordinary gal but somehow I have no language with which to talk to otherworldly beings. I resign myself to mockery.

"So what's next Elemental Babe? You have a plan for me?" I cringe.
Pasha,blinks and sparkly drops splash my face. A delicious sensation.

She smiles.

"Honey child, I am your blessing. Enjoy the ride. Now tell me, how does the air feel?"

"Cold....active...wouldn't mind to have my toes back on something solid. Maybe a robe would be nice... why am I here?" I'm loosening up. Honest words begin to roll off my tongue again. My sarcasm is at bay, for the moment.

"Yes, a robe" Pasha calls back to me, as she swoops away. The rush of air stops and I am standing on my solid feet again. Garlemon, looks up at the sky, catching sight of me on the roof. He laughs so loud the sky seems to thunder.

"Where do you keep your ladder" he yells, as he gets off the leaves and stubs out his cigarette.

"Under the porch" I screech down. My voice is shot. I'm cold and I feel dumb up here all naked and vulnerable. I STILL haven't brushed my teeth or had any cereal.