LaSara's words:
LaSara FireFox is a thirty-something, work-at-home, self-employed writer, workshop presenter, ritualist, and mom. Ms. FireFox lives in the wilds of Northern California with her two very smart and beautiful young daughters, and her amazingly handsome, bright, talented and devoted husband.

LaSara's writing has been published in the anthology Breeder: Real Life Stories from the New Generation of Mothers, and Penthouse, Hip Mama, Communities, Gauntlet and, most recently, NewWitch, and many other magazines over the past seven years. Her work is widely published and extensively quoted on the web.

undie girl: Which came first for you, LaSara, being sex positive, or magic?

LaSara: Magick came first. I have had a very magickal sensibility for as long as I can remember. Sex positivity grew on me. It was not something that I was born with, and it's not something that really "came naturally." It's actually been, and sometimes continues to be, a hard-won battle. There's plenty out there to dissuade from uninhibited enjoyment, and plenty inside, too.

undie girl: There’s certainly a shortage of sex sanity in the world right now. What have been your sources of sexual inspiration and healing along your path?

LaSara: Emma Goldman is absolutely one of my "sheroes." She was a woman born ahead of her time, to say the least. I also idolize Victoria Woodhull Claflin. She was a champion of woman's rights, and was just a bit before Emma.

Beside Emma, who I was introduced to at 14, some of the gender-outlaw heroes of my youth were David Bowie, Boy George (of Culture Club), Annie Lennox, Janis Joplin, Prince, Cyndi Lauper and Madonna. They are all more or less pretty pop-cult...but they had a true and profound impact on the psyche of at least a generation, if not two. The sexual/gender experimentation of those times had a strong impact, and will, if we're lucky, continue to impact future generations.

I also had the good fortune of being raised in and around the Hippie and Pagan counter-cultures. While the lifestyle was far from perfect, we all learned a lot, and are still learning. There's a lot to hold onto, and a lot to discard, as with any generational shift.

undie girl: I can’t resist saying, “Sexy Mama, meet Sacred Whore. Sacred Whore, meet Sexy Mama.” As a mom and a sacred sex worker, how do you bring these roles together?

LaSara: Our kids know, and have always known, that Bobby and I have a very "alternative" view of sex, sexuality and gender. We explain as much as we can, while keeping it age-appropriate. We have the blessing (and curse) of very smart children. Our older daughter, who just turned six, asks questions that are not always the easiest to answer, but we do our best to keep things open and honest, while not putting ourselves, or our children, at risk for too much external judgment.

Our kids know that we believe that people can "marry more than one person, "and that "a boy can marry another boy, if he wants to." So far, they agree.

The relationship that my partner and I share fluctuates between non-monogamous and monogamous. While we let the kids hear us talk about our other "dates" and such, we don't bring lovers home to the family unless they are already part of our clique. At the same time, we never felt comfortable with the idea of hiding our extra-curricular activities from the kids. It felt too hypocritical.

undiegirl: Our Sexy Witch would feel right at home inside newWitch. You’re the resident Sexpert there now. Can you give us a taste of what you’ll be writing about next?

LaSara: I plan on covering all sorts of topics, really. I plan on writing my next column on sex magick.

The “Proust” style Undie Questions

undie girl: What’s you favorite thing to do in your undies?

LaSara: When I'm feeling really good about myself, dance naked in front of people. When I need a tender moment to myself, masturbate.

undie girl: Has anyone made assumptions about you because of your undies? What were they? How did that make you feel? How right were they?

LaSara: One guy I dated got super hot when I wore thong undies. He assumed I was super trashy, and that I liked him to think I was super trashy. Sometimes that was kind of hot for me, too, but it ended up being more trouble to be trashy for him than it was worth. He was right that I could be trashy, but I was not into what trashy meant for him. He couldn't let the fact that I was happily married be okay.

undie girl: How do ever have time to put on undies? What does a day in your life look like?

LaSara: I barely do! I used to circumvent that step most days, really. But now I wear undies more often than not. (I'm not really sure what prompted that shift.)

A somewhat average day (is there really such a beast?!?): Hubby gets up, takes older daughter to school bus, and goes to work. I get up, shower, do my morning routine (also new...: lotion all over, nearly every day! Facial lotions and potions. Sometimes even fake tanner s**t...never woulda thunk it, but it all makes me feel more fearless to face my day), make whatever phone calls can't wait a day longer, sometimes check e-mail... take younger daughter to preschool when I get to it, go to counseling, psychic reading, or work out, pick up younger daughter form preschool, go to dance class a coupla days week...figure out what's next...somehow we all end up back home by approximately dinner time. We usually have a sit-down dinner together, unless I'm presenting a workshop or something.

I am always striving to increase my informational stores, and spend a lot of time in information and tool gathering. I plan on becoming a certified hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming practitioner in the next year and a half or so.

If I'm on deadline on a writing project, everything else gets pushed around to accommodate my deadline. I am working mostly on my workshops right now, and writing has sort of taken a back-seat for the time being, aside from the writing I'm doing on my business plan and related things.

I have some great events coming up this summer, which are really exciting to me. The two projects I'm most excited about right now are a women's retreat called Dark Moon, Dark Goddess which will be taking place the weekend after Summer Solstice, and Camp Goddess, a retreat/summer camp for girls between the ages of 13 and 17. I'm really excited about the idea of working with young women. Youth has been a focus for me for a very long time, and I feel great about creating offerings specifically for young people. Check my website <www.lasara.us> in the next couple of weeks form more info on the girl's camp.

I will also be presenting at Goddess Gather 2003, and am still sporadically offering evening workshops in Ukiah, San Francisco and Berkeley.

undie girl: If you could have a soap box to stand on, what would it be? Okay, if you need two, that’s fine!

LaSara: 1. More birth control options, primarily for men. 2. Freedom of choice, in a larger sense than the phrase is currently used: The freedom to say yes, and to say no. The freedom to bear children or not, to bare breasts as the desire moves us, and to bear the truth in any given situation.

undie girl: Finally -- sex, spirit, power, and freedom -- how do all of these play into your life? Do they fuse? Do they fight? Tell us a story.

LaSara: They fuse, they fight, and they play from time to time. Often the interface between the reality without and within are not an easy fit. A lot of this is tied up in my identity a woman, and then as a person. They are, and are not, separate. As someone who has had sex as my stock of trade, it's not always easy to find common ground with most Americans. Even (and sometimes especially) the counter-cultural ones.

I live in a small town, and everyone knows everyone's dirty laundry. And I, being the extroverted, often gregarious, exhibitionist that I tend to be, often find myself being pidgin-holed as things that I am not, and have never been.

Last year in my town I was part of a women's monologue development and performance group. My monologue came to be about being a "Sacred Whore." Some of the women in our small, closed group asked one of the most fearless amongst us to ask me if my subject matter (my sexuality, my sense of openness, my willingness to get paid and get laid) meant that I would have sex with their husbands, were the husbands to ask. It was a relief to have the question asked instead of the answer assumed. I answered, truthfully, that I would NOT sleep with any of THEIR husbands.

The full truth is this: as a sex worker I have slept with the husbands of other women. I was careful and safe. I asked these husbands questions about their families. I asked what brought them to see me. Some of them had good reasons, some had reasons that didn't sit with me well. Most left with a bit of thought to chew on, and I almost always gave a generous heaping of on-the-side counseling, along with the usual.

As a feminist working in porn, I have had my conditioning to examine, and to grow through. I have had moments of self-loathing, and self-loving.

I think it all comes down to this: There are no right answers. Only the choices we make, the paths we walk, and the people we become; by luck, by craft, and by design.

Visit LaSara online at www.lasara.us.