Diary #8: "All the Same Freaks?"

So we pointed our wagons east this time, packed up trunks of undies and tees and lip balm and pussy-shaped soap to make our debut at the Fetish Fair Fleamarket in Boston. Such an incredible experience -- let me give you a taste!

What’s the Fetish Fair Fleamarket? Only the biggest gathering of sex-positive, kink-inclined folks in all of New England. For two days and nights, the Flea was the place to be for anyone interested in expressing their kink, strutting their leathers, exposing their fetishes, and shopping and flirting (and of course, networking like mad). The kink crowd boasts some of most honest love I’ve seen for queer sexuality, exploring gender, embracing of women’s sexuality... and I’ve been proud to call the scene home for seven years.

What did I love most about the Flea?

• Meeting the WACKYJAC minions -- well, not minions -- I actually know someone who can claim to have minions, and we don’t have minions, so much as a cool devoted clan of people who have committed to think of us when getting in and out of their undies. That’s so special! Hearing where you all heard about us, watching you adore the new stuff, and finally bring home the time-loved undies, too.

• Sizing male submissives for thongs by discussing the matter with their Dommes. I felt honored and trusted. Don’t we need a word for a boy slut? I mean, we know why there isn’t one... but if girls are reclaiming slut... who next? Boysluts, wear it proud!

• Looking at all those pentacles hanging around all those necks. (Or as Mark noted, “Are we really all just the same freaks?”)

• My partner (and our new photographer -- see his work on the “Horny Hearts” sale page, and on the photos here!) got to meet two darling people I had played with in the past... and seeing them connect (and shop for me together!) was truly beautiful. This VDay for me is going to be all about more love, more lust... I feel it starting already...

• Getting to see so, so many people come out all dressed up, proud and free and beautiful -- kick-ass Dommes, anime girls, rockstars in drag, hot and sweet butches, grown-up boys as little girls, human bunnies and zebras, Ren faire chicks in bountiful bodices, tattooed silvery-haired dykes, proud leathermen... wondering who hired a sitter to be there, and who dressed like that every day, and who was cruising and who was together, and who had never been there before, and who had been looking for this all their lives and in all their loves...

There’s an SM book out there called Different Loving. If anything calls to me now with VDay looming, it’s that. Not just getting tied up or dressed by a play partner in boi-drag for the first time or anything that would require a trip to CVS to slyly stock up on latex gloves (safer sex, kids)... It’s much more like loving expansively, doing love diffferently. “Will you un-marry me?” Dropping the possessiveness game, the jealousy-proves-you-love-me game. Getting honest and real about safer sex and why we all matter to one another so much. (How are we going to change the world, after all, with the revolutionaries for love and sex getting sick and dying? There is no such thing as “acceptable losses” here.)

Being in a hotel all weekend that just exuded sexsexsex everywhere, and not just sexsexsex but honesty and forwardness about sex, and comfort with sex, and a LUST for sex opened us -- not just the cashbox, but our insides, too. I’m excited to be here, in this moment when there’s open love in leather and conscious care in kink, and where the rules of love and sex aren’t just changing, they’re being undone to the point of unrecognition, to the point where maybe, soon, we’ll taste that freedom that comes from never having been in bondage in the first place...

Unless that’s where you find your freedom, of course.

(Don’t pretend you didn’t see that coming!)

And coming, and coming...

xo.
undiegirl

ps: photo credits, naturally. me, with Dylan, who's a fab activist and smartypants, and Jessica Melusine, whose erotic memoir fiction has appeared in the compilation, Shameless, after the Fetish Fair Fleamarket. photo is by Jason Ragosta, aka my partner in crime.